(Not a political statement, unfortunately.)
2024 has been a year for the records. They all are; this is what we call “History.” Is it time to reflect?
Start of the year is sort of a blur. Was still homebased at Mom’s in Harris County, and had just gone full-time from part-time/temp at Georgia State University’s School of Music. (Do I pay them homage before I move forward?) Not sure I can put into words what this recent and unexpected flourishing of community has meant to me. And also musicians can be harsh AF; and they have a right to be with that amount of focus and discipline. I loved many of those folks, and envy their devotion and outlet.
As I was getting ready to move back to Atlanta full-time, I enrolled in a stand-up comedy class. Long story short: forgot my words twice during my grad show, but through this class process was the exact sort of work I love to do, the writing - have plenty more work to do. Lace Larrabee’s Laugh Lab, y’all. It was so empowering! A 6-week intensive - that’s what it is. And guess what? I loved the process so much that I took the class AGAIN this fall. And guess what? I learned EVEN MORE. About myself, about people, about our need for good humor…
My first grad show for this class was on the day that I literally moved back to Atlanta. Had some time to settle, and then got the opportunity to take the class again, where the intense growth only accumulated. Second round was an all-female class, too! I digress. Even if you have no intentions of grinding to become a fancy stand-up comedian, the sharing and giggling of narratives that were once understood as discomfort, or pain, is *chef’s kiss*. I don’t want to challenge it, but I feel as if my grossest self has been exposed, on that stage - I am still learning to run off the shame of being seen, and telling people that a stranger at a job called me “mean and nasty” amidst my overweightness. The comedy of it all did feel a little slimy compared to writing here, for instance. My first set was thoughtful. My second set was a bit lazier, as a challenge to myself to try different writing/sharing approaches. In the second set, I spoke too soon about some stressful, relatively fluffy shit. And I take feedback seriously: DON’T BE LAZY. With anything - ever. It’s a slippery slope, and you can FEEL it.
Okay, what else?
Investing in friendships I’d like to maintain. This is a tricky balance. What is giving TOO much? What is giving too little? Do these folks really understand what it is I’m attempting to nurture in my reaching out? A historic best friend recently shared that we both have to need and have something needed from us in fostering connections. I agree - I’m proud of him.
Not sure I travelled too much this year - there were other sports to attend to!
Family has been cool. I understand how people tuck away into their own for periods at a time. Should clarify: my *Family.* This includes extended (Barkley’s, etc.,) “Fambigly” (long-time family-friends who I’ll celebrate ‘til the cows come home,) and, honestly, work families - I have many, including the families I sit for. Right now, my core FAMILY, the collective I navigate my plans and budget around, is me. That’s right, you heard it here first: she’s single.
Have dated some over the course of this year, but am coming back from a 5-year-stint of being closed off to all of this. Am happy to be back out here - it’s fun. Life is short. Why not? (Hint: I rarely crush but when I do it goes deep.)
Ran into a previous, and extremely formative, boss recently. I am happy to report that it was healing. Some might say “par for the course,” in regards to its significance. I suggest… magic? I was in my car outside of a friend’s event that I had just missed the start of, and saw her. At first, I thought, “eek;” because I was never sure if she liked me. Then I thought, “once in a lifetime chance, to say hello,” so I did. It was Lisa, my boss from Horizon Theatre! And her daughter, who I had met while working there too. The woman and other half who built this institution. Not ready to deeply reflect on just how much that opportunity changed me, but it did full-circle some feelings, speaking with her, for which I’m grateful. And I liked connecting. It reminded me of some good times and interesting conversations.
I’ve put on weight! Even more weight! On one hand, delicious. On the other, my body is like, “you bitch.” Will need to sort that out.
In conclusion, it’s been a good year. I love my 30’s. I love the folks I’ve gotten to interact with this year - pretty much, every single one of them - that I can recall, at least.
Time to log-on to work station for the day. (Remote Wednesday’s!)
Much love to this crew.
Ansley